


DeltaStoned

by TortelliniTankini



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: And Sans and Toriel are fu-, Cause Noelle's mom is a bitch, Drug Use, Drugs, Implied Kris/Ralsei, Implied Sans/Toriel - Freeform, Implied Susie/Noelle, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kris and Ralsei are pining, Marijuana, Multi, Nonbinary Kris (Deltarune), Other, Selectively Mute Kris (Deltarune), Some stupid kids smoking weed and doing stupid shit, Susie and Noelle are dating, Underage Drug Use, didnt know whether to categorize this as teen or mature, made it mature because of the explicit drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortelliniTankini/pseuds/TortelliniTankini
Summary: Susie comes to school high one day. Kris wants to try weed. Ralsei also tries weed. High-jinks ensue ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Relationships: Kris/Ralsei (Deltarune), Noelle Holiday/Susie (Deltarune), Sans/Toriel (Undertale)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 63





	1. Preface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Heh.” Susie huffed. “So you figured it out, huh?”
> 
> Kris hummed, “Mhm.”
> 
> “Yeah, yeah…” Susie sighed. “I was high. Big mistake, though. I’ll never smoke before school again.”
> 
> “How did you, um...” Kris faltered, before returning to the keyboard. Just as they began to type, they heard the click of Susie ending the call. Another green bubble materialized on the screen for a few seconds, before it expanded and read:
> 
> “Let’s just continue this in text.”

A feeling of material warmth, something of linen and cloth enveloping their body, they grew increasingly aware of this feeling with each passing second. Their senses heightened, the darkness behind their eyelids growing brighter, revealing what they recognized as the faint rays light that poured through their curtains. Their mouth felt dry, and breath was thick. And then, she called out.

“Kris, sweetie, get up sleepyhead..” Toriel’s familiar voice called out to them. She’d let up for a moment, before she continued, “Kris, come now, it’s time for school.”

Kris replied with a groan, something so low it could barely be noticed by the average ear, human or monster. They registered the sound of fabric being fiddled with and pulled, as the curtains that once protected their room from the intrusive sun had been ripped from their position. The light behind their eyes expanded in a flash, forcing them to quickly seek out the shaded comfort of their blanket. This, too, was ripped away from them by Toriel.

“Oh, come on now, Kris.” Toriel chimed. “You know I always make you pancakes every Monday just to make this easier for you. Are you really gonna miss out on that?”

Kris wearily murmured as they kicked off the remaining portion of their blanket that laid across their legs. Toriel gave a satisfied hum.

“Then in that case, I’ll be downstairs. Don’t forget to brush your teeth, my dear.” Toriel added, before stepping out of their room and leaving them to continue the troublesome process of waking up.

After a few good minutes spent by stretching, contemplating whether or not to act sick to avoid school, yawning, accepting their fate, and then moving the rest of their routine in the bathroom, Kris finally arrived at the bottom of the stairs to receive a kiss on the forehead and a plate of pancakes.

An hour had come and gone as quickly as a snap, and Kris’s setting now shifted to their classroom. The current lessons they would be going over this week included Pythagorean theorem, Basic Economics, and advanced Monster/Human history. Alphys had just begun on the initial mathematical subject, inscribing the standard “A² + B² = C²” formula upon the board in chalk. Her usual wavering voice projected out to the students.

“T-This famous theorem named for the Greek mathematician, Pythagoras, describes a special relationship between the sides of a right tri…”

Her voice trailed off as Kris’s attention shifted towards the great purple beast known as Susie that had seated herself in front of them. They made the decision to write a note to her, which read a simple “yo.” They would scribble this on a large piece of spare line paper, giving Susie the space to write her replies back. They’d fold it smaller to make it inconspicuous as they’d pass it to the desk in front of them. Kris waited, anticipating to see Susie open the paper, pass a huff of air through her nostrils, pick up the pencil to reply, and then take up on this chain of covert interaction.

_(They could also just tap her on the shoulder and sign to her, but Alphys would likely notice Susie turning her whole body to face them.)_

But to their surprise, Susie remained still, sitting there blankly for the following two minutes, while the folded up note remained beside her hand on her desk. Eventually, Kris’s patience ran thin, and they tapped her shoulder. This prompted Susie to jump in surprise, and dropped her from her stupor.

“Oh sh—“ Susie uttered, turning around to meet Kris face-to-face. “What?”

The human gestured towards the note on her desk. Susie turned her attention towards the paper, “Oh, that? What about it?”

Kris impatiently signed _“Open it.”_

“Oh, right.” Susie peeled open the sheet, and her eyes wandered over the two letter word on it. After a good 13 seconds, much too long for Susie’s usual reaction time, the girl replied verbally.

“Oh, hey.”

She then returned her gaze towards the front of the classroom, earning an internal “???” from Kris. The human tapped her shoulder once more, _“Answer it back,”_ Kris gestured.

“Answer what?” Susie questioned.

_“The note!”_ signaled Kris, the quickness of their hands combined with their snarled lips indicating this to be exclaimed.

Susie picked up her pencil and scribbled something short, before hastily passing the open paper behind her, not even turning to look them in the face. A small “hi” took up a section of the empty space under Kris’s “yo.” Kris was now beginning to grow worried.

In a sudden moment, as their face came close to Susie’s hair, their nose reflexively scrunched up at the strong smell of something unfamiliar, and almost...skunky? The odor gave off hints of grass, musk, and just the tiniest bit of citrus. Before Kris could place their hand upon Susie’s shoulder once more, she flicked their hand away.

“Dude, I’m just not feeling like talking right now, okay?” Susie added. “I’m too fuckin’ baked for this right now…” she wearily rubbed her eyes.

Kris cocked their head to the side, not breaking their gaze towards the back of her head. Baked? What was that supposed to mean?

Out of the corner of their eye, the bespectacled blue bird that sat front and center of the class made every effort to make his gawking in regards to the back of the class as obvious as possible. Kris noticed, then causing a blush to creep upon their face. They sunk down into their seat, the embarrassment ceasing any sort of further interaction with Susie, and anyone else.

For the rest of the school day, Kris sat at their desk in silence (more than usual, that is), allowing them to actually make use of their notebooks and textbooks for the first time this entire year. It wasn’t like they really had anything else to do. The hours of the day passed by ever so slowly, like molasses down a flat road. Surprisingly, not once did Alphys have to sit at the edge of her table, give a look, and “wait for the class to settle down,” only for the class to never settle down. She speculated the origin of this unusual behavior from her students, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to complain.

Finally, after what felt like an entire lifetime — one of those mediocre lifetimes led by boring old guys with majors in marketing, slaving away at office jobs, or something — the school bell echoed throughout the facility. The iconic chime signaled the teens to make off with their backpacks towards the door, and return to wherever it is that kids go after school.

“And don’t forget, I-I’ve posted your study guide online and— gah, forget it, they’re all gone anyway.” Alphys announced.

Except they weren’t all gone, as she caught sight of two lingering presences.

“Hm? O-oh, Susie, Kris, what are you two still doing here? Yo-you’re both usually out the door by now.”

Kris nodded, and raised their hands to sign. _“Yeah, I guess she hasn’t got the memo yet.”_

The purple monster grumbled to herself, “Hmm…” All of a sudden, her eyes shot around the room. “Huh? Where is everyone?”

“The bell rang, S-Susie. You can go home now.” Alphys replied.

“Oh- OH! Oh...okay.” Susie stammered, throwing her bag over her shoulder. She paid no mind to her human friend struggling to catch up with her attention span. It wasn’t until the two were 7 feet outside the school doors that Kris had decided enough was enough.

“Susie!” Kris’s voice ultimately boomed. The unfamiliarity of it told Susie that it was serious.

_“What!?”_ exclaimed Susie.

Kris sighed, and a feeling of regret for their outburst welled up in them, as they noticed few eyes begun to make note of their presence. They continued in sign: _“You haven’t paid attention to me, or anybody, or anything this entire day. You didn’t even notice the bell ring.”_ They emphasized their next question with their face scrunched up in concern. _“What’s up with you today?”_

Susie’s expression softened. “Gosh, I’m sorry, Kris. I’m just so out of it right now. This morning, I…”

_“And about that, what did you mean when you said you were ‘baked’ this morning?”_

“Lemme get to that.” Susie huffed. “I got up earlier than usual, and decided to wake-and-bake before I came to school. But that was a huge mistake…”

As Kris raised their hands to continue, Susie added, “I’m still so fuckin’ out of it right now.”

_“Susie, I still don’t understand. What’s this all mean anyways? Wake-and-bake? Did you eat something bad? Are you sick?”_

_Please tell me you’re just sick,_ thought Kris.

“No, no, Kris.” sighed Susie. “God, how do I explain this, I—“

Susie’s breath hitched as she caught sight of something behind Kris, off in the distance. Color drained from her face, and her hair fluffed up in fearful instinct. It was in this moment that Kris got a better look at her eyes, which were puffy and bloodshot, and now, even dilated in her current state of fear.

“Shit...I— I-I gotta go, okay? I promise I’ll call you later to explain.”

Before Kris could even stutter, Susie had already swept past them, leaving dust in the wind of her escape. Frustration bubbled in Kris’s chest, as they turned to meet whatever it was behind them that prompted Susie to flee in such a hurry. Nothing out of the ordinary caught their attention. After all, it was just the road, a few houses down the block, and Undyne redirecting “traffic.”

But then it hit them.

_‘Wait, no...she — she couldn’t have been scared of Undyne, right?’_ They reflected to themselves. _‘She usually isn’t so easily frightened by the cops. Could she have...no, no, she couldn’t. I mean, sure, she can be a bit of a delinquent at times, but she couldn’t possibly have done something so bad that she’d be on the alert for them at all times, right? Right.’_

_‘Right…’_

Kris didn’t know what to think anymore. Their train of thought derailed when Toriel called out for them, telling them they’d need to get in the car to head home.

_‘Right, home.’_ Kris pondered. _‘She said she’d call me later to tell me about it.’_

And so they returned to their humble abode, and hid themselves away in their room, anxiously scrolling through opened search tabs on their brother’s computer as they counted the minutes away until Susie would call. Flashes of their interactions, her smell, and her bloodshot eyes came into their mind. They tried to comfort themselves with the thought: _Maybe she was just sick?_ They’d like to believe that. Maybe things weren’t all that bad. Suddenly, they heard a knock at their door, followed by an _attempt_ to turn the doorknob— which was futile, as they had locked their door.

“Kris, my dear,” Toriel called out. “You’ve been in there for quite some time now. Are you alright?”

Kris’s relationship with their mother had been laid upon a foundation of deep understanding, making simple gestures and key actions speak louder than words to this knowledgeable woman. In this case, it was the current lack of any sort of action from Kris that came across as a clear answer to Toriel.

To Toriel, this answer was read as: _“Don’t come in right now, I’m feeling a bit socially drained, and need my space at the moment, dear mother. I’ll be down there to interact with you in due time.”_

Little did Toriel know that the circumstances were different, and the true, unread answer from Kris, was instead: _“Please don’t come in right now, I’d totally be up for talking with you, but I really don’t want you to see the fact that I currently have 5 tabs open on Asriel’s computer, all of which are on websites with green color schemes explaining colloquial language for drugs that cops with DARE t-shirts discourage us from using.”_

“...I see. Well, I’ve just come to tell you that I’ve cut up some fruit for you. I’ll leave it out here beside the door, as not to pressure you into coming out, should you need the space.”

Out of the silence from the other side of the door, Toriel’s ear managed to pick up a “Thanks,” and an even fainter “Love you.”

Toriel grinned warmly, “Love you too, dearest. You can always come to me if you need anything, I’ll be reading downstairs.”

Toriel’s footsteps faded off into the hallway, which was then followed by the creak of the stairs as the mother made her way back downstairs. Kris took advantage of this moment to get up and retrieve the fruits left by the door.

This action was abandoned as the sudden sound of the phone’s vibration buzzed against the bed. Kris flung themselves against the bed, scooping up the phone to answer the call.

“Hey!” Susie bellowed from the other end of the line.

“Hey.” Kris muttered more reservedly. “So…”

“Yeah, okay, I’m mostly sober now, so I can explain—” Susie continued.

Susie shut herself up as she noted the formation of a green bubble in the corner of the chat. This meant that whatever Kris had to say, it couldn’t be heard aloud in their current environment. And so she waited.

Kris sent the message. Another moment.

“Heh.” Susie huffed. “So you figured it out, huh?”

Kris hummed, “Mhm.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Susie sighed. “I was high. Big mistake, though. I’ll never smoke before school again.”

“How did you, um...” Kris faltered, before returning to the keyboard. Just as they began to type, they heard the click of Susie ending the call. Another green bubble materialized on the screen for a few seconds, before it expanded and read:

“Let’s just continue this in text.”

Kris replied, “That’s probably for the best.” They pondered a moment, “So, where did you even buy the stuff from?”

“I can’t really tell you that.” Typed Susie, which was then followed by: “It’s a small town. Even if you keep your mouth shut, things slip up eventually. People recognize people, and that’s where the trouble starts.”

Kris nodded to themselves. As they pressed on, they let out a small chuckle under their breath.

“Was it Jockington?”

On the other end, Susie chortled. “Nah, his shit is wack, plus he has the audacity to sell his stuff for $40 per gram! Only trust-fund kids and business majors pay that much for weed!”

“How much is it usually then?” Kris inquired.

“Not fuckin’ $40, I’ll tell you that much,”

For few minutes that followed, there was no typing from either of them. Kris took this time to finally retrieve the bowl of fruit from outside their room, and had begun munching on strawberries and chopped up pieces of melon. As for Susie, it could be assumed she was just waiting for Kris to continue the conversation.

Eventually, Kris did pick up the phone again, but the sound of their chewing made it hard to think up something good to say. Something relating to the current subject, something that would give them an answer, an answer for a question they either didn’t know they wanted to ask, or didn’t want to ask.

Out of nowhere, the answer came from the other end.

“You want me to buy you some for you to try?”

Kris was hit with a feeling that could only be described as whiplash. To themselves, their expression grew to something so bewildered, that if Susie could see them right now, she’d absolutely regret saying what she did. However, this isn’t to say Kris was totally displeased with what they received. They were simply critical. Their eyes darted back and forth again and again in analytic increments over the message.

That little green bubble from Kris’s end emerged once more. Then disappeared, then reappeared, and left as quick as it came again. This would be considered the digital equivalent of a perplexed stutter.

“Nvm, Kris.” Susie finally texted. “Sorry, that was stupid. I’m not gonna force you to do anything.”

“Wait” Kris typed as quick as a bullet.

“?” Susie wrote.

Somewhere, deep in the corners of their soul, a visceral flame was sparked. It was something so indistinct that they couldn’t tell it apart from total dread, or perhaps just the faintest bit of interest.

Kris thought back to each article and website that they still had open on their brother’s computer (in incognito mode, of course). They recall the columns that all speak of things along the lines of, “Ongoing research shows cannabis causes little to no harm as anti-drug programs claim,” or “Cannabis holds many medicinal benefits,” or “The worst thing I’ve ever done on pot was eat my friend’s french fries!” etc, etc, etc...

So did they really want to try this or themselves? Was this sense of curiosity really something of their own, or was this all a facade fabricated by the hands of that dreaded 11-letter word: “Peer-pressure.” But Susie wasn't even pushing them. Whatever prompted this, they felt they were too deep in to back out now.

So did they? _Really?_

_‘Maybe, just maybe…’_

_‘Well— no, actually, um— okay well perhaps just…’_

_‘Wait no! That’s bad! No, no...well_ —‘

_‘—Okay, well if I really…’_

_‘I mean—‘_

_‘Um…’_

_‘Yes?’_

_‘Okay, fuck it, why not!’_

So they wanted to tell her, truly they did. But the words just never came off right in text.

“I’d like to—” backspace.

“I think I wanna—” backspace.

“Could you—” backspace backspace backspace.

“Kris, stop typing for a second.” Susie interrupted. “I got an idea, so hear me out.”

Kris stilled their thumbs. The ever-so-familiar green bubble filled the corner of their screen. They thought about giving it a name at this point. It stood in that corner for a good 6 minutes, before it expanded into the following paragraph:

“I’m gonna give you a mission. You gotta find a date that your mom will be away from your house for an extended period of time, preferably between 2-5 hours. During that time she isn’t there, I can bring the weed to your place. And even when I’m there, you’re still totally, 100% allowed to decline, and we could just hang out anyways, without smoking. How does that sound?”

Kris read over this, and then they read it again. Occasionally, their eyes darted over to the contact picture they set up for Susie. It was a candid photo of her going ham on a box of chalk.

“What happens if I can’t find a date my mom won’t be gone that long?” Kris eventually replied.

“Oh, it’ll happen at some point. Your mom can’t be home all the time. Even if it isn’t this week. I’m patient.”

Kris almost thought to type _“I think the world you’re looking for is ‘understanding,’ cause you’re not the most patient...”_ but they refrained from this, and instead added, “What about the money?”

“What money”

“For the…”

They followed with the leaf and wind emoji.

“Oh, don’t worry about the money. If I’m ever short, I can always count on Nerdly to provide me with a _handsome_ donation of his lunch money, lmao!”

Kris continued, “I still can’t help but feel like I’ll owe you.”

“Weeellll...”

“?”

“You knowww…” Susie teased. _“_ Maybe a little gift wouldn’t hurt...I think you know what I have in mind.”

It was clear among the both of them that this meant they'd have to gift certain kind of writing material, specifically ones that are made of limestone materials, and are commonly used in a classroom setting. 

Kris texted her a short and sweet “bet.”

The evening came, and Kris eventually came to greet their mother downstairs, an empty bowl in hand. In turn, they were greeted by the smell of cooked meats and soups. All this texting really cooked up an appetite.

They were about two bowls deep in snail chili when the sound of the house phone filled their ears.

“Oh, I’ll get that, my dear.” Toriel got up to inquire about the source of the call.

From the distance of a few feet away, nothing really caught Kris’s attention at first. That was until their mother let out a curious “Oh!” to herself. Kris grew especially suspicious when Toriel peered back at them, as if making sure they couldn’t hear the conversation. Well, they sure as hell tried to listen in now.

“No, I’m not busy Saturday…” Oh?  
  


“Hm…” she hushed herself, but not enough. “9 pm you say? Isn’t that a bit late?” _Oh?_

“...When Kris is asleep? What could you possibly...O-oh.” _Oh???_

“I-I see, then if that’s the case…” She laid her paw on her chest, growing evermore flustered by the minute. “Y-yes, I’d love to! — I mean, t-that’s fine by me. 9 pm this Saturday it is…” **_Oh???_ **

Nevermind the fact that their mom would be going out with a stranger at 9 pm on a Saturday until god knows when doing god knows what! They had a time and date!

“Right, right. I-I’ll see you then.” Toriel hung up, now using her free hand to fan her overheating face.

Toriel moved her gaze back towards the kitchen, and found Kris chowing down on their serving of chili, and having paid absolutely no attention whatsoever to the suggestive conversation that had just been had by their mother and some total stranger on the other end.

“Right…” mumbled Toriel. She made her way past Kris, and anxiously attended to a pile of dishes. Under the table, the human peered down at their phone in hand, typing away as best as they could with one hand.

“Susie,” they began, “How’s this Saturday? Around 9:40 pm?”

A minute.

Then two.

Then just one more.

And then it came:

“Perfect :)”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few key things to note throughout this story is:
> 
> 1\. This takes place about 2-3 years after the events of Deltarune. The Fun Squad kids should be around 16-17 by this time.
> 
> 2\. As everyone is now aged up, Ralsei is now taller than Kris. He is theorized to have been about 5'3 in Deltarune, so now he's 5'11 (6'7 including the hat). Susie is 6'1.
> 
> 3\. Noelle is Latina in this story, just because I want her to be. After all, she's a Christmas Reindeer, and us Latinos go HARD on Christmas. ;)
> 
> I should also mention that I will be updating one chapter at a time as I go, so your patience will be greatly appreciated. :)


	2. The Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ralsei is coming.”
> 
> Kris couldn’t help but go slack-jawed. Ralsei? The Ralsei who was adamant on maintaining morals built on love, care, and friendship, the Ralsei who bakes little cakes and wears white ribbons, the Ralsei who flushes at the face at any form of closeness or affections? That Ralsei is gonna smoke pot?

Kris glanced at the time on their phone. It read 9:45 AM. Class had literally just begun, even they knew that. So why did they check the time? All they could do was blame it on the anxiety bubbling in their chest. Kris checked the time again, and instead peered at the day of the week. 

Friday. If they thought hard about it (and perhaps used a calculator — then give up on the calculator because it doesn’t exactly help with subtracting times on a clock, and instead use a time calculator website —), they’d find they had about 37 hours to go until they would do _the thing._

Yeah, they were calling it _the thing_ . Because even as 4 days had passed since they first discussed _the thing_ with Susie, they still struggled to process this whole situation, and couldn’t bring themselves to say something as explicit as “smoking pot.” But this didn’t mean they would back out, no. After all, Susie had just made her purchase of _the thing_ this Wednesday night, with her own money nonetheless. They hadn’t even traded the chalk yet.

“Keep it for this weekend,” Susie commented two nights ago. “I’ll eat it as a snack for when I get the munchies.”

Kris doodled intricate spirals and leaves and other little things in the front cover of their composition notebook. There wasn’t much Alphys offered to the class today. She initially had them prepare for their Economics test for the whole week, but at an unexpected turn of events, it would appear that the materials to take the test will not arrive until next Tuesday. As a result, she has gifted her students with a free day to occupy themselves with whatever work they owed in regards to other subjects.

Of course, to the students, this was just a code-word for “do whatever the hell you feel like doing right now.”

Kris was up in a stupor of their own, before the ruckus of Noelle jamming her side side into a desk and yelping in pain caught them off guard. Another kid mustered up a “damn” under their breath in sympathy of the clumsy reindeer. Once Kris brought their eyes down upon their paper, they caught sight of what they thought was just harmless sketch of a maple revealing themselves as the leaves of the sativa plant! _(How unpredictable!)_

So, it was clear that their mind was very much occupied by _the thing_ at the moment. And to think, they’ve been saying to themselves this whole time, _‘I'm totally not hung up over this right now! I can keep myself distracted!’_ They snickered, paying no mind to their leg bouncing anxiously (an occurrence that first began yesterday morning).

Kris closed their notebook, and took this time to observe their environment. They shifted their attention towards the girl from earlier, who was now rubbing at the side that previously made impact with her desk.

They recollected an event from 2 years ago. The melodies of quick-paced merengue and reggaeton songs pervaded their mind. They could even recall the bright hue of Noelle’s quinceanera dress — It wasn’t like they could forget such a vivid shade of red. It could _almost_ be compared to the crimson stained hue of Susie’s face when she first held Noelle against her chest during a particularly intimate dance. Oh, and who could forget Noelle’s aunties (or tía’s), and their incessant quarreling over who would take home the centerpiece—

* * *

The ring of the bell permeated Kris’s ears. They checked their phone. 4:15 PM.

Soon, the human found themselves in the process of forcing an especially sizeable textbook into their bookbag, when they noticed the lack of any action from Susie. Once they zipped up their bag, Kris brought themselves into her view.

_“Hey,”_ they signed, _“You high again?”_

Susie cackled, Kris noting her expression turning roguish.. “Hah! No, no. Just lingering a bit.”

Kris raised an eyebrow under their bangs. _“You don’t have anything funky planned, do you?”_

_‘Besides this weekend’s activities...’_ They thought.

“Not really, just uh…” Susie hesitated, “may pay someone a visit.”

Kris stood for a moment, before their eyes lit up.

_“You’re gonna see Ralsei?”_

“Yeah, just gonna check up on him. Wanna see how the lil’ guy’s doing.”

Though, he wasn’t all that little anymore. None of them were, actually. Though, for the past few years, Ralsei just seems to have hit that growth spurt a little harder than the other two. The Darkner could even be considered taller than Susie at this point, if you took his horns into account.

Kris beamed, _“Well can I come?”_

Susie sucked her teeth, and stammered as she averted her gaze momentarily. “Hmm...y-you don’t— Well it’s just gonna be real quick, there’s no need for you to….”

Kris cocked their head. _“Why not?”_ Their eyes narrowed, _“Susie, you’re not gonna…”_

“No! Kris, no. I wasn’t gonna talk to him about,” She brought her voice to a whisper, “ _the thing._ ” Great. Now they’ve got her saying it too.

“Hey, you two!” Alphys called out from the front of the room. “Y-you uh, you don’t need to be here anymore. Class is o-over.”

Susie justified to her that they would linger just a while to study. Alphys permitted this, but reminded them that she would need to lock up by 4:55.

Susie turned her attention back towards Kris, and they continued. _“Listen, if I were you, I wouldn’t bring Ralsei into this.”_

Susie glanced up at the ceiling, allowing herself to stretch her back over the chair. “Okay, just— just let me at least tell him about it. If he says he doesn’t want to come, then I won’t pressure him. It never hurts to try.”

Kris let out a puff of air, _“Fine. But he’s probably gonna say no to it anyway.”_ At this, Kris securely put their book bag over their back, and turned towards the exit. Susie followed, but as Kris gestured towards the front of the school, Susie made her way in the direction of the back.

As Kris pushed their body against the front doors, Susie called out to them from across the school.

“Oh! And as for tomorrow—” Susie hollered, “keep a ladder somewhere outside for me. Just in case, a’ight?”

Kris faced her and nodded, before continuing on to greet their mother in the parking lot.

* * *

Toriel took every caution as to not accidentally make contact with a particularly noisy floorboard. The struggle for this grew significantly as she donned a pair of heels, unusual for her every-day attire. Her sheer maxi skirt and fitted blouse were especially more so. Toriel reached Kris’s door, and carefully peered in.

She took in the sight of the child-shaped mass that lay in the bed to her right. In the next moment, she stood over them, and bent slightly so she could brush the strands of hair from their face and place a tender kiss on their skin. Kris hummed contentedly, and even curled their lip into a drowsy smile.

Under the layers of sheets and blankets, Kris kept their ears focused on the sound of Toriel’s movements, as she grew farther and farther away. 2 minutes later, she had reached the living room. The faint sound of jewelry against a porcelain bowl could be heard. 5 minutes, there was chatter. _“I’m ready, are you here yet?”_ and _“Oh, I see you! I’ll be out!”_ Kris now stood upright in their bed. Another minute, and then the door blessedly creaked open, and shut.

Kris scrambled for their phone hidden under their pillow, and was met with the blinding light of the lock screen. They yelped out, “ah!” and frantically swiped up to adjust the brightness. After their eyes adjusted, they discovered they received a text from Susie:

“Ralsei is coming.”

Kris couldn’t help but go slack-jawed. _Ralsei?_ The Ralsei who was adamant on maintaining morals built on love, care, and friendship, the Ralsei who bakes little cakes and wears white ribbons, the Ralsei who flushes at the face at any form of closeness or affections? _That_ Ralsei is gonna _smoke pot?_

Their phone chimed again. “He’s bringing snacks btw.”

This was all so strange to Kris, but, at the same time, they couldn’t help but ponder the thought in curiosity. If Ralsei really heard Susie front to back on what they’d be doing, what smoking marijuana could do to him, and still agree to this, then it certainly couldn’t have been easy! No, the Ralsei Kris knows would have been pressured in some way to come to this.

Though, it didn’t exactly pain them to ponder a scenario where Ralsei would willingly, and enthusiastically look forward to tonight’s activities. That would be really...different of him. A good different? Bad? Kris couldn’t distinguish it, but something about the concept was...fascinating, to say the least.

They could even say they _liked_ the thought.

Kris rose up from their bed to switch their room lights on. The time was now 9:25. They still had some time until Susie and Ralsei would be there. They took this time to tidy up their room, and prepare some of the “supplies” that Susie mentioned that they’d need for this experience.

Air freshener, a bottle of eyedrops, a tin of breath mints, and several bottles of water were scattered upon their nightstand. They also recalled Susie mentioning she’d supply a few other materials, apparently the types that would be essential to the smoking part in itself. That left Ralsei to be assigned the task of bringing the aforementioned snacks.

Kris’s leftover time was used up by conducting a few more searches on Asriel’s computer, shakily typing in key phrases such as: “How to avoid a bad trip on weed,” “Differences between Sativa vs. Indica,” and “How much weed can I smoke before I die and get my body dumped in the river, never to be seen again by my mother and my loved ones?” among other things.

Before they got the chance to look up “Where did the term ‘420’ originate from?” Kris darted their head in the direction of the sharp clang of something hard against their window. They bolted from their chair to slide open the window, letting the cool night breeze intrude their room. There, they peered down upon the sight of two familiar faces.

“Yo, loser!” Susie called out. And next to her, “Hello there, Kris!” Ralsei piped. He had a pile of three aluminum cake tins in his arms. “Could you care to let us in?”

* * *

Susie gaudily made her entrance through the front door, Ralsei following eagerly behind. The human _still_ couldn’t comprehend the fact that _Ralsei_ was here to partake in this whole scheme. Now that the Darkner stood close to the human, they couldn’t help but take in Ralsei’s near-towering height in comparison to them.

At their held position, they could make out the configuration of Ralsei’s snout, and his canines that protruded from his top set of teeth. Kris never fully comprehended their captivation with these little details about him. The best they could do was blame it all on that stupid little thing called ‘puberty.’

Kris was snapped away from their thoughts when Susie nudged them on the shoulder, signaling towards the direction of the stairs.

It was then that Kris remarked Susie’s backpack.

“Ah, um,” Ralsei stammered, “Where shall I put these sweets I made?”

“You can bring them upstairs, Ralsei.” Kris replied aloud.

Ralsei knew their voice, as well as Susie. The two knew it better than anyone else. It may not appear significant to an outsider, but for Kris to use their voice aloud felt almost like an earned form of intimacy between the three.

Once in Kris’s room, Ralsei set aside his treats on the computer desk, and made work to peel off his overcoat and scarf, then laying them over the footboard of Kris’s bed. Susie lept all her weight onto the unused bed on the left side of the room. She reminded herself of the first time she was granted access to Kris’s room.

She recalled the shift in Kris’s impression when she unabashedly laid herself onto the very same bed she currently occupied. But oh, how can’t forget the same that washed over her once Kris confronted her and told her who that bed once belonged to! She was sure Kris could see it writ into her face. She was soon met with relief when Kris let out a sympathetic chuckle. Susie cringed to herself.

Now, in the current moment, Susie began unzipping her bag. Kris wasn’t currently facing her, and didn’t exactly want to turn around. Even now, they were still nerve-wracked to see _the thing_ in person. Were they really ready to do this?

_‘It can’t possibly be that big of a deal!’_ they’d think. _‘I mean, all those monsters in those videos were so casual about it! The “weed moms,” and those “trying 90’s snacks while high” videos. they don’t appear as if it’s such a significant part of them.’_

“Ooh, what’s that, Susie?” inquired Ralsei. And then they turned, and they saw it. Two little green speckled clumps of what they could only describe as what looks like moss. _‘Moss. Haha ...That's funny.’_

“This, Ralsei, is something very, very special.” announced Susie. “Kris and I want to try this with you. It’ll be really fun!”

Something about the way Susie phrased that didn’t exactly resonate well with Kris.

Ralsei chimed, “Oh? Is that true, Kris? Well in any case, I can’t wait to see what’s in store!”

Something was definitely up. Kris wasn’t gonna have it.

“Susie,” Kris began. The purple monster jolted up from where she stood, interrupting her process of laying out a patterned tin pan and a sheet of tiny translucent papers.

“H-huh? Yeah?” her expression so obviously sly.

“Did you _actually_ tell Ralsei what we would be doing?” Kris questioned in a low tone.

“Yes, she did actually!” Ralsei mused. Kris raised an eyebrow doubtfully. “Oh really? What did she say then?”

In the corner, Susie’s cool demeanor cracked. She spluttered, “W-well, I—”

“Susie said that I should come over with baked treats, and we’d all have a sleepover and watch some movies.” Ralsei beamed. “I couldn’t pass up such an offer!”

Kris pressed on, “Did she mention anything else?”

If there were a Jury present right now, they’d be writing a big, red “guilty” in regards to Susie as of now.

The two anticipated Ralsei’s next response.

“Hm…nope!” And there it was.

Now, one thing to note is that Kris was a very patient kid. Even if something were to majorly inconvenience them, it’d be a truly strenuous job to scope out any sort of visible irritation in their expression.

But that’s only if they consider you anything less than a close friend.

But Susie and Ralsei were close friends. Very close. So Kris was angry. Yet, even as such close friends of Kris, who knew the human front and back, the two could not yet distinguish any shift in their character.

That’s what got Susie shaking at the knees. This wasn’t the type of rage that was expressed visibly, rather it was felt. She could pick up on this like a sixth sense, like a seismograph predicting an earthquake. Whatever Kris hid under that deadpan face of theirs, could easily be marked as an 8+ on the Richter scale.

Susie could already hear the theme song now. _Next up on the OST: **Vs. Kris!** _

As Kris slid their hair back, revealing their sharp red-eyed gaze to the room, Susie had begun writing out her will. She’d give Noelle all of her jackets, Catti would have an old pair of ripped jeans that could probably fit her, Monster Kid would get this weird porcelain doll her aunt gave her for some reason when she was 12…

Kris inhaled, exhaled.

“Ralsei, I’m going to explain to you, _real_ slow, what Susie and I were _actually_ planning to do.” Kris’s emphasized, scowling over at Susie. She gulped hard.

“You see those green nuggets on the bed over there? Up here, that’s called marijuana.”

“I see…” mouthed Ralsei. He showed no signs of comprehension, but then,

“It’s drugs.”

Ralsei’s ears twitched, he stuttered. “Hm— Huh-Um— W-what?”

“Susie brought drugs. We were gonna smoke this, and get high. Susie didn’t tell you our true plans because she felt you wouldn’t come along if you knew.”

Ralsei, for the first time since he arrived, peeled off his hat. His white fur freed from the deep shadow cast by the apparel, revealing a softened expression etched with an amalgamation of apprehension, confusion, and woe.

“S-so…” Ralsei began, gesturing his attention towards Susie, “You lied to me about your intentions in hopes of me being persuaded into smoking this, um—”

“Marijuana.” Kris replied.

“Right, yes, that.” Ralsei tightened his grip on his hat against his chest.

Susie stood tight-jawed, before nodding remorsefully. “Yeah...I’m…”

“Is it safe?”

Kris and Susie gawked blankly, having not anticipated such a response.

“I’m asking you, Susie.” Ralsei went on, “Is it safe?”

Susie held her breath. She had been refraining from interjecting for the whole duration of Kris’s reasoning, as she stood with self-condemnation after she caught wind of the human’s “angry face.”

“Y-yes,” she finally uttered. “It’s safe.”

“Tell me more, then. About this... _thing_. How would you go about using it?”

Susie swallowed yet another lump in her throat, shifting into action. “Well, um, basically what I usually do is I’d take the bud,” she reached over and held up the peculiar flower, “then I’d grind it up with this,” she held a small tin, “and then I’d roll it up in a special kind of paper, and then smoke it.”

Kris focused on Ralsei’s face, keeping an eye out for any emergence of discomfort or abhorrence. They noted no such thing. But would they perhaps build the valor to admit to themselves that maybe Ralsei was actually intrigued? They certainly couldn’t brush off that little twinkle in his eyes once Susie went on about her experiences with the drug.

“Oh, and— heh, I remember this one time,” Susie effused, “this one time I smoked in the middle of the night, and I went and made like this sandwich with whipped cream and chips, and I thought I was some goddamn food prophet who was meant to, I don’t know, change the world with this discovery!” she’d let out a laugh from deep in her gut, wiping away spare tears from the corners of her eyes. “I-I don’t know, it was pretty funny at the time…”

A moment passed in which they all ceased to speak any longer. Ralsei remained in contemplation. Kris remained in contemplation of what Ralsei was contemplating. Susie remained in contemplation of Kris’s contemplation of Ralsei’s contemplation.

Then, they all ceased contemplation as Ralsei queried Susie, “So then, in your experience, there has been no severe consequence to your health or wellbeing in regards to doing this whole _thing?_ ”

“I mean, for the most part, yeah. As long as you don’t smoke prior to anything important, like going to school.” Susie recalled, provoking a modest snicker from Kris’s direction.

“Well, if even _Kris_ was willing to experiment with this,” Ralsei hummed to himself regardingly as he rocked himself on the balls of his feet. Another moment, he removed his round glasses, and wiped their surface with the cloth of his shirt. Then at last, he gave his response.

“Then, in any case, I think I’d like to try it!”


	3. Blue Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susie now emphasized, “A gram may not seem much, but if you’ve got a strain with a THC level higher than 20%, then you should really refrain from smoking up the whole thing yourself.”
> 
> “Ah, I see. Well then, I expect you will go first, no?” said Ralsei.
> 
> “You bet I am. Now, watch as I do.” Susie reached for her lighter from the tin ashtray in front of her, and flicked it a couple of times, before she caught onto a flame. Holding the joint between two delicate claws, she brought the flame towards the end, and let it catch alight.

Had Kris and Susie took a long sip of any beverage prior to Ralsei’s eager response, they’d surely have created quite a show of themselves by releasing a spit-take. This imaginary event played through their head. In the meantime, they expressed this astonishment with slack jaws and incoherent strings of faltering words.

“Wha— H-huh— You— Y-you wa— Uh— Y-you want— Smoke— P—”

“Pot, is that what you also call it?” Ralsei said. “If so, then yes. I’d like to try it.”

“Ralsei,” Susie drawled, “You sure you’re up for this? Cause you can totally walk away from this if you’re uncomfortable, okay? I’m really,  _ really _ sorry I lied to you. You should have come here on your own will.”

“Well, I must admit, lying to me  _ was _ wrong of you. Even now, I can’t help but feel deeply tricked. But, seeing as you’re being so sincere, I simply can’t stay mad at you!”

Ralsei gave a warm smile, the one that makes his snout scrunch up a bit  _ (and Kris hoped he wouldn’t notice the blush that crept upon their face at this). _ In return, Susie curled her lips into an awkward grin, one still tinged with the tiniest bit of guilt. But now she felt at ease with Ralsei’s tone.

“And as for discomfort, I don’t think I have to worry about that. As you mentioned in your whole spiel before, this whole activity is done best in a group of friends that you trust. And,” Ralsei picked up Kris and Susie’s hands into his paws, “I trust the both of you very much! Plus, with someone of your expertise in this, I know I have nothing to fear.”

Were they gonna cry? Susie’s nose twitched, and Kris’s eyes almost began to water. God, even when talking about drugs, he was so sugary-sweet it gave them cavities!

“Okay, then…” Susie gathered herself, and made her way to gather their needed ‘supplies.’ As she turned to face them, she beamed.

“Let’s all get high!”

* * *

Kris and Ralsei had finished laying down the last pillow under the duvet-canopy in the center of the room. They stood back, analyzing the structure of cushions and blankets, framed by three spare dining chairs. During their work, Susie had been busy with grinding up the two grams of Blue Dream cannabis  _ (a sativa-dominant hybrid strain) _ inside a tie-dye patterned tin grinder. Now, she was finishing up tying the ends of the second joint she had rolled, and attaching a crutch to the ends where they’d be puffing from.

“Alright nerds, sit down,” Susie commanded, “The  _ expert _ is ‘boutta show y’all how this is done.”

The three took their positions under the pillow fort. Kris recalled to themselves that when Susie came to school after smoking, the scent of the drug was potent on her clothes and hair. They sighed, coming to terms with the fact that they’d have to do a lot of laundry after all of this.

“Okay, so you two see this? This is a joint.” She presented the first one, the other one rested on top of her backpack to the side of her. “In this is one full gram of a strain called ‘Blue Dream’. Now, I’m gonna be totally honest here, this isn’t exactly an ideal strain for complete beginners like you two. I asked my plug if he had anything weaker, but this was the one with the lowest THC he had in stock at the moment. I mean, it’s not  _ too _ strong. It’s the best I could get that wouldn’t completely fuck us up.”

The Darkner and the human hunched over attentively. Susie continued, “So, I advise that the both of you take no more than 3 hits of this the entire night.”

“Um, wait,” Ralsei remarked, “Why have you only made two? Isn’t there three of us?”

“Oh, no. You see, we’re gonna pass around and share this one right here. As for the other one, well, I’ve developed a bit of a tolerance. So in case you two can’t take anymore and I smoke up the rest, I’ve also got the second one as a backup.”

Susie now emphasized, “A gram may not seem much, but if you’ve got a strain with a THC level higher than 20%, then you should really refrain from smoking up the whole thing yourself.”

“Ah, I see. Well then, I expect you will go first, no?” said Ralsei.

“You bet I am. Now, watch as I do.” Susie reached for her lighter from the tin ashtray in front of her, and flicked it a couple of times, before she caught onto a flame. Holding the joint between two delicate claws, she brought the flame towards the end, and let it catch alight.

Kris and Ralsei observed unfalteringly as the end burnt away slowly, revealing the green, flowery contents inside, which began to turn to brown from the heat. Susie sucked in and inhaled from the crutch, and separated the the joint from her lips. Her chest puffed up, keeping the smoke contained. A moment, and then, she exhaled outwards, releasing a thick cloud of vapor.

Ralsei couldn’t help but gawk in awe, letting out a bewildered “woah” into the quiet. Kris, too, found it hard to feign indifference at the sight.

“Alright,” Susie rasped, covering her mouth with a closed fist to wheeze into. “See what I did there? I inhaled, held it in, and let it out. Now, Kris,” Susie presented the joint to the human, “You ready for your turn?”

Before reaching out to take the spliff in between their fingers as delicately as they could, Kris paused.

“Hold on, you got a hair tie I can borrow?” Kris requested of Susie. The monster sucked her teeth in response. “Ah, sorry, I don’t.”

As if he had been anticipating this, Ralsei lit up, “Ah, actually, I have something!” He rose from his cushion, and slipped his hand into a hidden pocket of his overcoat that laid over Kris’s bed. As Kris turned to catch sight of him, they noticed a shine of red over the lapel of the green coat. Upon further inspection, it was a brooch in the shape of a heart.

“A-ha! Here you go, Kris.” In Ralsei’s paw was an ivory ribbon. Once Kris registered what they were seeing, they went warm at the face.

“Is this…?”

“The white ribbon you gave me in the forest those few years ago. Yes, I-I…” Ralsei shyly turned his gaze away, “I still have it…”

Kris placed the joint back into Susie’s hand, as they reached out to take the ribbon. They felt up the silk between their fingers, and felt themselves fall into a tunnel of nostalgia and ache.

“This...I…” Ralsei peered out of the corner of his eyes, and he was really thankful he couldn’t see the twinkle in Kris’s eyes at this moment. Otherwise, he may crumble into dust.

“Thank you, Ralsei.” Kris mustered.

“Oh, I-It’s nothing, really, I—”

“ _ OH _ my my fucking GOD, can you two quit pining over each other for  _ ONE MINUTE? _ ” Susie snapped. “We have stuff to do!”

Ralsei at once scrambled back to his spot with a heat to his face, “Ah, r-right!”

Once settled, Kris pulled back a large section of their bangs, and tied it back into a man—uh,  _ Person _ -bun.  _ ‘Well, so much for not pining.’  _ Ralsei mused as he caught himself gazing into Kris’s red irises.

Susie passed the joint back to Kris, and finally, they held it between their lips, allowing Susie to do the honors of lighting it.

“Remember Kris, puff,” Kris puffed.

“Inhale,” Kris inhaled, and they were greeted with a deeply uncomfortable burn in their throat.

“Hold,” Susie added. This proved to be the most difficult part for Kris. They would hold for 5 seconds.

“Now, exhale.” At last, Kris released the shallow cloud of smoke in unsteady puffs through a fit of coughs.

“Ralsei, get that bottle of water over there.” commanded Susie. As Ralsei did as told, she confided to Kris, “I know this may sound stupid, but try not to cough too much. ‘Cause the more you cough, the higher you’ll get, and fast. So just drink this water.”

Kris took a large gulp of water, easing their irritated throat. They wiped away the tears that welled up in the corners of their eyes.

Susie spoke up, “Alright, Ralsei. You ready for your turn?”

Ralsei swallowed, “I-I suppose so. Let’s just hope I don’t cough as hard as Kris did.”

“Yeah, the whole coughing this in inevitable, dude. Especially since you’re a beginner.” Susie said.

Kris signed, as their chest was still heavy with discomfort from the smoke.  _ “It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but I don’t feel so bad. You’ll be fine.” _

The Darkner gave a smile and nod. Once Ralsei received the joint in his paw, he did as Kris did, holding it between his lips, steadying it with two claws. Susie lit the end, and Ralsei took a puff.

Though something was off, and both Susie and Kris took notice. He puffed it into his cheeks, held it in for five seconds, and exhaled. But oddly enough, he came off as unphased.

“Oh, would you look at that! I didn’t cough.” Ralsei exulted. “Now, how long will it take for the high to take effect?.”

“Dude, you didn’t even inhale it.” Susie confronted.

“Pardon?”

“You didn’t inhale, Ralsei.” Kris inserted. “You just sucked it into your mouth then blew it out. That’s not gonna get you high.”

“Oh, um, so—”

“When Susie said inhale, she meant to take it into your lungs, as if you were breathing in air.” said Kris.

And so Ralsei made a second attempt, and once the joint was lit, he sucked in, inhaled, and—

It burnt. It stung, stung like thousands of tiny pine needles on sensitive skin. He let out a string of light coughs through puffed up cheeks, but making the extra effort to not exhale any smoke too early. Susie counted the seconds away in her head. By the fifth second, she made a vague gesture to signal Ralsei to breath out, but he took no notice.

“Ralsei, exhale.” Kris said. Ralsei remained as he was, a thick stream of tears pooling down the fur on his cheeks.

“Ralsei, they said exhale!” Susie insisted. Ralsei did not exhale.

The two eventually burst out simultaneously,

“RALSEI, EXHALE!”

“LET IT OUT, DUDE!”

“EXHALE!! FUCKING EXHALE HOLY SHIT—”

At once, Ralsei blew out, a fit of coughs and wheezes following as his lungs convulsed, crying out for the fresh air that entered them.

_ (Cough cough cough!)  _ “Oh—”  _ (Cough!) _ “Holy—”  _ (Cough cough!) _ “Shit— fuck!”  _ (Cough) _

Not processing the string of cusses that came from his mouth, Kris and Susie made haste to hand Ralsei a bottle of water and provide comfort as he came down from his cough attack.

Ralsei breathed out, “Phew...Goodness...Kris, that felt terrible, actually! I don’t think I can take another hit of that.”

Kris ran soothing circles over his back with the palm of their hand, as Susie spoke. “Well, I’d say you wouldn’t need to anyways. ‘Cuz with all the time you held it in, and that coughing, I’d say you’re gonna be as high as a cloud pretty soon.”

Ralsei gave a concerned look, “W-will I be okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Just stay hydrated, and you’ll be good. You got us.”

Kris and Ralsei soon settled themselves into their little stronghold of quilts, allowing the process of the high to kick in. The two kept themselves occupied by watching videos on Kris’s phone. Susis continued to take in 3 more hits of the joint, and at some point, Kris requested to take another hit themselves.

* * *

25 minutes had now passed.

Ralsei was no longer paying attention to the screen of Kris’s phone, as he was now preoccupied by the sight of his own paws, and how their every movement seemed distorted. It was as if you could see each frame that they left behind everytime he wiggled his fingers or balled them into fists.

The video on Kris’s phone had ended, but they never ceased to chortle every few seconds or so at the black screen.

Susie had just finished savagely demolishing the second plate of baked cookies that Ralsei brought.

Kris now laid between Ralsei's legs with their head upon his stomach, staring up at the Darkner with heavy-lidded, bloodshot eyes.

“Hey, hey, Ralsei.” they slurred, “You know how you like baking so much?”

“Hm, yeah, I bake. I bake a lot, actually.”

“Well, I read that there’s actually foods out there with weed in them, called edibles. We should like, buy some more pot and have you bake it into stuff.”

“Oh, that’d be great! We could make muffins, and cookies, and cakes— Oh, and I recently found this one recipe for custard pie! Ooh, I bet they’d taste lovely!” Ralsei rambled, unaware that he had been running his paws through Kris’s hair, thoroughly messing up their person-bun.

Susie joined in, “Yeah but you gotta be careful with edibles, you’re actually not supposed to eat the whole thing, unless you’re willing to stay in one place for like, 8 hours—”

“You know, I recall last Halloween, I came across this recipe for a casserole made up of leftover candy bars and chocolates. What’s your favorite candy bar?” He gave no time for either of them to reply. “—Well mine is surely this chocolate bar that Kris gave me a few months ago, um— I believe it was called a ‘Schnickers bar.’ Ooh, I still dream about that delicious caramel and cookie combination...” Ralsei jabbered on dreamily.

Susie scarfed down the last of the dark candy cupcakes from its tin, slobbering over her fingers to get every last crumb. She rose up, “Alright, Kris, I’m gonna go raid your fridge.”

The sound of cups and plates clashing in contact with each other pervaded the entirety of the downstairs area, as Kris had now been browsing through their social media. They’d come across a few memes, and chuckle stupidly at the punchlines. They were not presently aware that they had been reading aloud the memes this entire time. Susie set foot into their room, hands full with a bottle of orange juice, a plate of peanut butter sandwiches, and a bowl of cereal.

Kris recited, “Any female born after 1993 can’t cook, all they know is McDonald’s, charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual, eat hot chip and lie.”

“Kris what the  _ fuck _ .” said Susie.

Kris shot their head over to the door, “Hm? Oh, hey.”

“Hey. Okay but honestly, that’s me, I’m females.” She set down the juice and sandwiches upon Kris’s nightstand. “Except I’m lesbian.”

“Oh so you twerk then? Cause you didn’t cut that off as a possibility.”

“FUCK no.”

“Oh, but you remember Noelle’s cousin at her quinceanera? She could twerk—”

Ralsei hummed the tune from the memory to himself, “Dame mas Gasolinaaa….”

“Ugh, don’t!” Susie hissed. She faced towards Kris’s bed, holding the bowl of cereal in her left hand and her phone in her right. In her mind, she had intended to throw her phone onto the bed to give her the extra hand to hold the bowl.

Well, she threw...something.

It took her about 15 seconds to process the spilled cereal on the covers.

“Oh, Kris, you have just the sweetest dog!”

“Uh, I don’t…I don’t have a dog.” Kris replied.

“Well then what have I just been petting for the past 8 minutes?” Ralsei peered down at the white pillow that rested under his hand. “Oh…”

Susie stood blankly, “Wait, what did I come in here for again…?” She settled her gaze upon the sandwiches. “Oh, sweet! I wonder who made these.”

The girl picked two of them up, and noticed the contents.

“Hey, you two want uhh...a peeny sandw—”

Kris choked, “A—HA! A WHAT?”

“A— FUCK, a  _ peanut butter _ —”

Kris howled with laughter. Ralsei joined in, even though he had not processed what Susie just said. Ultimately, Susie began to crack up as well.

“Oh, just— just shut up and take them!” She swiftly threw the sandwiches onto the human and Darkner, and they met their faces with a loud, yeasty slap. Susie then returned to her rightful throne with the liter of juice, twisted the cap off, and chugged.

After their bray laughter faded off, The three sat together in comfortable, buzzed silence  _ (that is, if silence consisted of dry-mouthed smacking and eating). _ As Ralsei confidently requested the joint from Susie, Kris ruminated on an event sometime 2 years ago.

* * *

They thought it to have been around, um, maybe Thanksgiving Day?  _ (It was most definitely Thanksgiving Day. They’re just too fucking high to consider it the truth) _

Asriel had spent the break back in Hometown with his family. As well as their father, Asgore being present, several close friends and townsfolk such as Alphys, Rudy, and even that grocery store owner, Sans, had joined them for dinner. Kris at this time had now made their rightful passage into that stage where they were not able to mingle with the adults. Goodbye, kids table!

They had quite the case of culture shock once they came across the tradition of family gossip.  _ ‘Wait, what's this about deadbeat uncle? What about my cousin’s delinquent boyfriend? Auntie, you’ve had HOW MANY divorces??’ _

Meanwhile, at the threshold of their home, Asriel could be seen mingling with his own special type of “adults.” With their brother were two cats, the most recognizable one being Catty. The other, a less familiar tabby, who’s name was as unspecified as the rest of him. From what Kris could recall, he could be recognized by the nickname “Burgerpants”  _ (Which was odd, considering he worked at a family-pizza establishment). _

Things started to feel off-putting when Asriel and his cat-clique began donning their coats and jackets. Where would they be going that Asriel wouldn’t notify Kris about? Generally, Kris would feign disinterest as to not seem troublesome to Asriel. But their concern for Asriel’s wellbeing had outweighed any anxieties they may have for confrontation on this particular day. And so just as Asriel had nearly up-and-left, they reached for the sleeve of his coat.

Asriel turned his head, “Hm? Oh, Kris!” he’d kneel to meet Kris and their level.

They’d sign,  _ “Where are you going?” _

“Oh, we’re just going out to, um…” he faltered, “Er, take a walk, and have a more private chat. Stuff about college, important that only we can discuss between each other.” Asriel stood back upright, and faced back to that orange tabby in particular. Asriel gave a guilty look, and Burgerpants raised an eyebrow. “Don’t worry ‘bout me, alright? I’ll be back right before the Turkey is cut!”

Asriel ended up keeping his promise. He had arrived back home just a perfect five minutes before prayers were made, and not a single knife touched the turkey. Nothing went wrong.

So just why did recollecting this event feel so peculiar in this moment? They had remembered this before, so why was it weird now of all times? Was it the fact that Alphys had made a contribution of a plate of sushi instead of conventional Thanksgiving food? Or perhaps it was the extended glances etched with longing shared between Sans and their own mother?

Or maybe it was how when Asriel had returned, his demeanor was more aloof and distant than usual? How once he caught sight of the dinner table, he excitedly chowed down like a starved beast? Was it the slur in his speech, the blood-shot eyes, or that thick, skunky smell that lingered on him for the rest of the evening—

_ Wait. _

* * *

Ralsei huffed out a cloud of smoke, and this time, only coughed out one of his lungs instead of both. Through his wheezing, Susie spoke out with concern in her tone.

“Yo, Ralsei! Did you cast some magic on me? I think something’s wrong…”

“Hm?” (Cough) “W-what ever could—” (Cough cough) “Could be the matter..?” (Cough)

“This is sooo weird, I...I think I can see through my eyelids! See?” Susie said.

Ralsei observed her. “Wait, can you actually see me though closed eyes?” he said.

Susie perplexed, “Yeah! This is so freaky, this hasn’t happened before!”

Kris didn’t have the heart, nor the cognizance to tell her that her eyes were wide open.

“Wait, what hasn’t happened before?” Ralsei puzzled.

Susie gave a glazed look, “Um, what? Sorry, I forgot...What were we talking about?”

* * *

The clock on Kris’s phone read 12:25 AM. The three heroes laid in a cozy pile upon each other’s stomachs, Susie laying as the foundation, then Ralsei upon her, then Kris upon him  _ (they felt nostalgic for the times that Ralsei was once the shortest one out of the three) _ . Against all odds, Kris assisted in finishing off the last joint, leaving behind two burnt up roaches amongst a mound of ash upon a tray. The room infused to the brim with the grassy-scented smog. An irritating smacking of dry lips came from Susie.

Kris eventually grumbled, “Hrm….”

“Huh?” Ralsei hummed.

“Still…uh,” they signed, _ “Hungry.” _

“Ah, I see...I’m afraid Susie has raided your fridge clean.”

As if on cue, Susie let out a bellowing belch from the depths of her stomach.

_ “Nice.” _ Kris signed.

“Well,” Susie began, “There’s QC’s Diner just down the block. So,” Susie rose from where she lazed, carelessly letting Ralsei’s heavy head to slip down onto the floor.

“Why don’t we grab a bite to eat? They started keeping it open on weekends up until 3 AM.”

Kris glanced down up Ralsei’s face from where their face was squished against his abdomen. They hesitated, before softly poking the space between his brow bones.

“Hmm, I heard her.” Ralsei yawned. “I guess we could go out…”

“Well then,” Susie grunted, “if we’re gonna do this, then we really need to fix ourselves up right now. In fact, this whole fuckin’ room could use some cleaning.”

“I’ll clean it up when we get back.” Kris groaned.

“Well there’ll never be a point where we come back, if you don’t  _ get _ ,” She’d step closer..

“ _ Your asses… _ ” She’d grip onto the backs of Kris and Ralsei’s shirts..

**_“UP!”_ **

And with that, she’d hoist them up like ragdolls in her grip, and made way for the bathroom downstairs.


	4. Connected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * YOU remained DETERMINED to CONNECT.
> 
> “FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF!” Kris cried into the night. Swiftly, their ankles collapsed under them, sending them barreling into the grass. Once they recovered, their eyes shot wide in fear, as your SOUL glowed from their torso.
> 
> * You tell Kris they can’t avoid you forever.
> 
> “Yes I fucking can!” They growled. “I-I’ve done it before...And I’ll do it again!”

Susie hobbled her way down the stairs with the human and darkner hanging in her tight grip, paying absolutely no care to their heads bumping against every carpeted step as they were dragged. Though, the two didn’t seem to care about it all that much, anyway.

Once at the bottom, Susie made for her right and entered the bathroom. She hoisted up the two into an upright position in front of a mirror, leaving them to blankly stare into their own droopy, bloodshot eyes.

“Wait right here.” Susie insisted. And so they did, and Susie left. They’d wait a moment, ‘till the sound of heavy footsteps from their right shifted over their heads. Another moment, maybe two, and those same footsteps took for whence it came.

The purple monster returned with her backpack, Ralsei’s coat, hat, and scarf, and one of Kris’s hoodies, a cyan color. Out of her backpack, she presented some of the “supplies” that Kris prepared on their nightstand prior to this event, as well as her own bottle of cologne.

Susie grabbed the bottle of eye drops from where she placed them on the counter. She first held Ralsei’s face with her large hand, tilting his head up to remove his glasses and let receive him the medicine into his eyes. With the first drop, the darkner whined, and attempted to pull his head away. With a bit of labor and cursing under her breath, Susie finally managed to give the other eye its drop. She then went on to repeat this process with Kris, getting little to no strain at all with them.

“Kris, you got a hairbrush?” Susie asked afterwards.

“A what?” replied Kris drearily.

“A hairbrush.”

“A hairbrush for what?”

“Uh, for your teeth.”

“But you don’t use hair brushes for your teeth.”

“I’m well fucking aware of that, dipshit. It’s for your hair!”

“What about my hair?”

“Ah for fucks— forget it, I’ll find it myself!” Susie ducked over and reached around the cabinets, “Found it!” until she noticed the thick tufts of white fur, “Wait, no, that your mom’s...Well, I’ll just use it for Ralsei then.” Another quick search, and she retrieved Kris’s brush.

Kris and Ralsei gave no struggle when Susie went to work with combing out any spare crumbs through their ravelled locks with their assigned brushes. She didn’t even notice how much care she’d put into giving Kris that perfect sweep of their bangs. Had the two been a little less fucked up right now, they’d be all over her, gushing about how caring she is being, and how she’s grown to be quite “motherly.” She would have absolutely none of it though, smacking them right on their mouths before the word even slipped out

Besides, she’d have them know that she is the eccentric aunt that isn’t invited to reunions because she was once caught doing a line in the bathroom with a female partner whom she was having a sapphic affair with. _(And she totally isn’t basing that obscure trope off of a personal experience with her own aunt one time…)_

Once her two friends’ locks were brushed into neatness with deft hands, Susie retrieved her bottle of “ACKS” body spray. She shook the bottle, but upon noticing how much empty space there among the sound of what would be worth less than three sprays, she cursed to herself.

She ducked under the sink to peek into the cabinet once more, and noted two bottles— one small, orange one, and a large cream and purple bottle that was mostly likely 3 years worth of sprays. Upon further inspection, the large one read in white cursive letters upon a purple ribbon, “Chèvre dame.” And the other, “Ice-E's Cool Boys Body Spray - Pizza scented” Susie debated with herself, but decided that she was far too hazy to weight-lift the ornate perfume.

“Alright Kris, you’re gonna get my cologne. Ralsei, I hope you don’t mind smelling like a pizzeria.” said Susie.

Several sprays, coughs, and reprimands later, Susie stepped back to regard her work.

“Oh, wow.” Ralsei marveled at his reflection, now donning once again his mint overcoat and pink scarf. “You did such a nice job, Susie!”

While Susie deflected Ralsei’s appreciation, Kris observed themselves in the mirror for a prolonged span of time. They could care less about how much better they looked, because at the moment, all they could do was attempt to process how... _off_ they felt.

Then it came to them, _‘Shit, I’m not having a bad reaction, am I?’_ they wondered. They knew they took as many precautions as they could, such as staying hydrated, but they supposed a bit of paranoia would be inevitable.

But jeez, this felt terrible. Their chest tightened considerably, making them reflexively reach out to claw at their chest. The build-up of it was somehow so familiar—

_No—_

Just as their head shot up to face the patch of red illuminating from the chest of their reflection, it had gone as quick as it came. Their hands remained trembling.

“Alright, nerds.” Susie began, slipping her tie-dyed hoodie over her head, “Let’s head out. Kris, you got your hoodie too, right?”

Kris slipped the hood over their face and made a show of tightening the strings, letting their nose peep through. They gave a muffled “yep.”

Finally, Ralsei threw on his hat, a shadow casting over his white fur into darkness. At his height, he gave off the aura of a scarecrow. Just as the three motioned for the front door, Susie suddenly turned to the human.

“Oh, Kris, one more thing,” she started, “Are you sure your mom is gonna be out all night? Cause it’s...already pretty late.”

“Oh, yeah. She was on the phone with somebody the other day, about 2 days after the first call, she was on the phone again, and she mentioned something about this thing being until early in the morning.” Kris replied.

Susie and Ralsei momentarily gawked at Kris, pondering if the human had even processed what just came out of their mouth, let alone the entire context of these circumstances. Susie shared a look with Ralsei.

“Should...Should I tell them?” said Susie.

“Best not to…” Ralsei demurred.

* * *

The Stoned-squad now made their journey down the empty hill that connected the rest of Hometown to Kris’s house. Susie kept a moderate pace with her hands clasped together inside her hoodie pocket, as Ralsei skipped giddily, taking his time to kick any fallen leaves in his wake.

Kris, on the other hand, felt like they were gonna be sick.

That thick, groggy feeling of dread came crawling up their back again. Their friends remained clueless as ever of their situation, as they gained track in front of them. Kris had to catch up, but how could they? How could they just prance along in their pot-induced haze when every fiber in their body told them that something would come along and just snatch it away from them? Take over, and take away this entire night and their security from their grasp?

But now, for a moment, Ralsei turned his back, giggling stupidly with a blush on his face that crept through the shadows placed on him by his hat. And for a moment, everything felt like it’d be okay for Kris.

* But something changed.

Kris keeled over and retched, clawing furiously at their chest.

_‘No, nononono…’_

* You try to connect.

“Ssshit…!” Kris hissed under their breath. “You won’t…”

Up ahead, Susie and Ralsei remained oblivious to the situation just 10 feet behind them. Susie had been about a minute deep in a rant about Berdly, and how he has the face of someone who would gladly call her a slur. “I just _wish_ that avian incel would call me a d*ke! Gives me more justification to break his face in!” She’d say.

And all the while,

* The culmination of your being wavers inside Kris.

The human grits their teeth, as sweat gathered on their forehead. This felt worse than any sting that smoking could ever cause. They had to do something, quick. They couldn’t let Susie and Ralsei see them like this...

Kris made a beeline for their left, disappearing into the trees. Susie and Ralsei turned to where Kris had stumbled on.

“Kris?” Susie called out.

Ralsei snapped out of his stupor in a gasp. “Kris!”

“Where did they go? Are they okay?!”

“I don’t know. T-They ran that way!” Ralsei pointed, “We should go after them.”

* * *

Kris’s legs carried them through the woodland area that laid as a barrier between their house and Hometown, and yet,

* YOU remained DETERMINED to CONNECT.

“FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF!” Kris cried into the night. Swiftly, their ankles collapsed under them, sending them barreling into the grass. Once they recovered, their eyes shot wide in fear, as your SOUL glowed from their torso.

* You tell Kris they can’t avoid you forever.

“Yes I fucking can!” They growled. “I-I’ve done it before...And I’ll do it again!”

Meanwhile, just a bit off the path, the purple monster and the prince of the dark make haste to seek out their human friend.

“Kris!” Susie calls out. “Kris, where in the FUCK are you!?”

Ralsei, too, exclaims into the woods. “Oh, Kris! Please come out!” Then he turns to Susie, “I really hope they’re okay…”

Kris tugged their hoodie up and gripped it in their mouth, exposing you from your seal between that and their shirt. Their fingers twitched, an all-foretelling sign of something that has gotten far too old at this point.

“I’ll rip you out of me, like the demon you are, as many times as I fucking have to!” they spat out in between heavy breaths, more-so muffled by the fabric in between their teeth.

You are given two options.

* I’d like to see you try ❤ * Not tonight, you won’t

Before you could make your choice, the hoodie slips from Kris’s mouth, leaving them panting in exhaustion.

You take the opportunity at hand, and CONNECT.

* …

* …

* …

* But nothing happened.

* Try Again?

* Yes ❤ * No

❤ Yes * No

* …

* …

* …

_But nothing happened._

You think that Kris hasn’t noticed this, but oh, they have. A chuckle builds in their chest, before it all comes bubbling out in a cackle. You quiver in ever-growing confusion. What went wrong? What went _wrong?!_

“Oh, I…” Kris started, “I think…” (huff) “I think I see the problem here…”

The light of your SOUL continues to dim. Kris draws a deep breath, and resumes.

“The problem is...I just smoked about 2 fat joints before you came along!” They jested, “Yeah, I read about this online! Some people use pot like medicine! And YOU—”

They accusingly point at your culmination, losing its form in front of their chest. “—oh, YOU are just another disease!”

Ralsei stopped dead in his tracks, and jolts his head in the direction of the familiar voice.

“Susie, I think they’re that way!”

Kris ranted on, as your SOUL grew ever weaker, until you were barely even there at all. You began to disconnect in defeat.

“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve found your little weakness now!” Kris coughed out. “Oh, just you wait. One of these days, I’ll go out there, and, and— And I’ll get a medical note, and I’ll buy weed in whatever form I can get! And whenever you feel like you wanna take over, and take away EVERYTHING from me, I’ll hit back! And I’ll— I’ll smoke a joint, or I’ll take some oils, or an edible, and— and you’ll be GONE! Just like that you’ll be—“

“KRIS!”

Kris jerked, and came to face Ralsei behind them, their nose just inches away from Ralsei’s chest. When they looked up, they’d find the Darkner’s eyes wide in earnest concern. And as for Ralsei, he found himself peering down at the human with their pupils blown, the gloss of them streaming down as tears upon their flushed cheeks. Hair in disarray, as well _(and after Susie went through the trouble of brushing it)_.

“Kris, are...are you alri—“

Kris pulled Ralsei into a tight embrace, pushing the air out of the prince’s lungs. Soon, Susie would stumble into the scene as well, and she would find Ralsei kneeling down to allow Kris to nuzzle into his neck, sniffling as their tears left wet spots upon Ralsei’s coat. Ralsei rubbed soothing circles onto Kris’s back. His current state of inebriation only made him that more expressive of affection.

“Holy shit, Kris!” Susie exclaimed, darting towards the two. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Kris sniffed, “Y-yeah, I’m sorry, I just uh...just had a bad bit of paranoia.”

Susie sighed in relief, but then spoke in a solemn tone: “Let’s just, let’s just call this diner thing off, alright? We can order pizza instead.”

“Wait, no—”

“She’s right, Kris.” Ralsei added. “You aren’t in any shape to continue into town.”

“NO!” Kris burst out. Their friends jumped back. “I-I mean...We’re already so close, it’s just a block down. I don’t wanna hold you guys back, plus, I really want some hot chocolate.”

“Well, alright then.” said Susie. “Then Ralsei is gonna keep a close eye on you.”

“And a tight arm!” said Ralsei as he wrapped an arm around Kris’s shoulder accordingly. Kris wiped away one more stray tear on their sleeve, and gave a warm smile. Their hair flattened down with their calmness as the three now made way out of the trees and into the rest of the town. Kris knew that their journey would be just a little bit easier for them now, with their friends by their side,

And you out of the way.

* * *

The red convertible sped down the road at a pace far too fast for a school zone, but just a little bit too leisurely for a freeway. It made its way down the route that acted as a link between neighboring counties and Hometown. From between the black hood of the car and its open windows, 90s-2000s R&B and Hip Hop boomed through the speakers. Crumbs and labelled napkins from restaurants that Hometown never knew littered the dashboard and floor. Sans knew he’d eventually receive a scolding from his brother, especially considering this was _his_ car. But that was a problem for tomorrow afternoon _(specifically not the morning as he knew for sure he would be sleeping through that)._

Beside him, the queen of his life perched herself in the leather seat, undulating her hips to the beat as much as the seat belts could possibly allow, all whilst scarfing down the last bit of fries.

_♫_ _He said, Hi, my name is so and so, Baby can you tell me yours? You look like you came to do, One thing_ _—♫_

"—Set it off!" the skeleton interjected to the lyrics of “Get Up” by Ciara. Toriel bopped her head to the following lines, as her mouth was too occupied by her meal. She took a hard swallow in time to enter for the hook.

_♫_ _You tryin', admit it, but you just can't fight the feelin' inside. You know it, and I can see it in your eyes._ _♫_

On que, she fixated on the skeleton beside her, allowing him to take in the view of the woman. It still baffled Toriel how he could manage to stare at her with dropped “eyelids,” but she didn’t let that get in the way of her sense of appreciation from the monster.

God, if she were to keep up like this, Sans might have to pull over.

Sans reached out with bony fingers to lower the volume of the radio, allowing them to engage in further conversation. He began, "So, Tori. Ya know, we haven’t met up in a while, so catch me up a bit.”

“Oh, yes, things have certainly been hectic this year, haven’t they?” said Toriel.

“Mhm, so how’s things at home? How’s the kid? I heard this is their, what, Junior year in school?”

“Indeed it is,” Toriel sighed, “Just a few more months and they’ll be a senior.” She leaned her head outside the window, letting her ears get caught up in the wind. “Then another month after, they’ll get their driver’s license, and then after that, a job, and then after that…”

“Tori, you’re thinking too far ahead again.”

“I know, I know. Sorry. I can’t help it, I’m—”

“You’re a mother.” said Sans. “Or, as Ciara would say, _♫_ _You smooth as a mother, You're so undercover, by the way that you was_ — _♫”_

Toriel chortled and teasingly shoved him, “Oh don’t give me that!” The two then shared a mutual laughter, then faded into a comfortable silence. Then something caught Toriel’s eye.

“Hey, this _is_ Papyrus’s car, right? Just how often do you borrow it?”

“As often as needed. Pap and I both take this baby out for similar reasons: getting out of town, buying things you can’t find back home, things like that. You’ve rode with me in this before, you know that.”

“I’m aware. But, I was about to say,” she continued, “do you keep a lot of stuff in here?” At that, Sans twitched.

“Er, sometimes. But most of the compartments here are full of Pap’s stuff, I have my own, uh, secret one. So he doesn’t see.”

Oh?

A flick of curiosity took form in Toriel. A mother’s instinct, perhaps. Judging by the fact that Sans no longer regarded Toriel’s eye contact, it seems this man may have some more mysteries up his sleeve than she had known. But with the connection that grew between them, and her adeptness in sniffing out secrets— whether it be an insecurity or quirk— she remained confidential in her search throughout the car. She’d let her paws roam around the seats, under the cushion, and even combing through the rug with her heels. Eventually, she found what she was looking for.

“Oh, I think I’ve just found it!” Toriel announced as she bent over to slip her hand under the hidden compartment. Suddenly, Sans sucked in a breath through his teeth and sputtered, “WAIT TORIEL NO—”

But he was a moment too late.

“Sans, is this…?”

“Tori I PROMISE can explain, j-just put that away and—”

“Pull over.”

“Tori I—”

“Pull over, Sans!”

Sans performed accordingly and delicately swerved off of the main road, parking just a ways into a rocky path concealed by bushes. After this, he’d play with his thumbs, avoiding eye contact with the woman.

“S-so uh, you’re probably wondering why I uh...why I have,”

“3 spliffs hidden away in your brother’s car?”

Sans, against all laws of biology, sweat profusely. “Yep…”  
  


“And just how long have you been hiding this from me?” Toriel inquired. Sans replied, “Erm, the blunts themselves? Or actually smoking?”

“Smoking, Sans.” He really couldn’t tell shit from her expression right now, and that made this all the more unnerving.

“U-uh, since like, just a bit before we moved into town.” Since Sophomore year in High School, basically.

“And all this time, after I’ve let you into my house, introduced you to my kids, went out with you…”

Each line punched a pin into his conscience. He could feel his sins crawling on his back. And maybe, just maybe, he would lose decimal by decimal of his HP. That’s what heartbreak could do to you, couldn’t it? Hurt you from the inside? Cause whatever Toriel was about to say, he’d better prepare for things to go south. God, now even _he_ was thinking ahead—

“You never ONCE…”

Ah fuck, here we go. Goodbye, love-life.

“...Offered me some?”

**_HUH?_ **

“Bwuh—Huh—Whuh…?”

“Sans, you KNOW how stressful these nights are for me, and here you are, hoarding up this stuff from me? Hell, I could have been smoking my cares away all these nights with you! Oh my god, we missed out on so much, Sans!”

Sans’s pupils were now blown in bewilderment. “Wait, hol’ up, hold on, wait, hol’ up, wait, what?”

“Oh my god,” Toriel gasped, cupping her face with her paws, “I never told you, did I? Oh, of course I haven’t...Goodness, I never knew of this before, so of course I was scared of how you’d feel...”

Sans laid a hand on her shoulder as she turned away, before shifting that hand to take her paw in his. “Tori, slow down, what did you never tell me?” You'd think after holding onto this secret affair for nearly 3 years would mean she would have told him everything by now.

Toriel took in a breath, “Sans, back in college, I was a _huge_ stoner.” A shade of scarlet flushed from under the fur of her face just from admitting that. “That’s how I met Rudy. But then, when Rudy introduced me to Asgore, I found out he wasn’t into girls who smoked…”

Sans huffed out, “So you changed for him?” Toriel smiled warmly. “Yes...But, despite how we are now, I don’t regret it. I’m only upset you never confided this to me!” she chided.

Sans huffed yet another sigh, this time in relief. “Okay, so, you’re totally not gonna dump me for this then? Or tell anyone?”

“Heavens, no. As long as you’re not going out and selling this to any children, god forbid my own children.”

The skeleton recalled an encounter with an adolescent snake decked out in Supreme gear, and the minutes wasted as he attempted to bargain for 5 grams for the price of an eighth, claiming he’d get him “free clout” online.

“Tori, I wouldn’t dare let this stuff into the hands of easily corruptible youth.”

Toriel beamed, “Well then, you’ve got a lighter?” Before Sans could process this request, she had already begun undoing the pins in her hair, and reached out to turn on the radio again. While they were talking, the song had now shifted to the hook of “Play That Funky Music” by Wild Cherry. The band named reminded Sans of the woman’s shade of lips.

“Now, after you find that lighter, you can catch me up on what’s been going on in _your_ life.”

Just as he began to doubt himself, he found his eyes curiously wandering over to Toriel’s thigh becoming ever exposed as her skirt hiked up with her motions. He pulled on his collar, feeling both _really_ warm, and **_really_** glad he pulled over.


End file.
